Pleasing others can lead those with low self esteem to neglect their own needs and desires, and can act as a protective shield from being exposed or criticized.
Feeling nervous or fearful from time to time is completely natural; however, when these feelings persist over an extended period, they could be indicative of low self-esteem and require professional intervention. Therapists offer tips for combatting such negative thinking.
1. Realize You’re Not Alone When Facing Low Self Esteem
Even those with seemingly flourishing lives often struggle with low self esteem. Low self esteem can stem from various sources, including childhood trauma, insufficient positive reinforcement within primary caregiver relationships, academic challenges without sufficient caregiver support and negative beliefs about themselves and others, along with chronic stress.
People suffering from low self esteem tend to struggle setting healthy boundaries with others, fearful that their opinions will be rejected or disliked; as a result, this often leads to them people-pleasing more.
When suffering from low self esteem, recognize it is a serious problem which may impede on both your happiness and ability to maintain healthy relationships. Making positive changes can include learning to stop negative comparisons between yourself and others and realizing joy is something which lies within yourself – not dependent on external circumstances. Therapy or counseling sessions may also prove invaluable if this issue continues.
2. Remind Yourself You’re Doing the Best You Can
Self-esteem fluctuation is normal. From one moment to the next, your sense of confidence could change quickly after experiencing something negative.
At such times, it can be useful to remind yourself that you are doing your best and must give credit where credit is due – whether in terms of relationships, jobs or anything else in your life. Although there may always be room for improvement, it’s also important to appreciate your efforts as being worthwhile and worthy of being respected.
Writing down and keeping close your list of your positive characteristics is one way to regain focus after experiencing setbacks. For instance, if you find yourself overcome by feelings of rejection after being rejected for a date or promotion opportunity, reading your list and recalling its positive attributes may provide much-needed reassurance.
If you are having difficulty with self-esteem issues on your own, seeking help from a mental health professional could be beneficial. A therapist can assist in understanding what factors contribute to low self esteem levels and providing strategies to rebalance them.
3. Low Self Esteem- Give Yourself a Break
Some individuals experience low self esteem due to negative experiences from childhood. These may range from being bullied, being neglected or abused, and even experiencing sexual violence – all experiences which have long-lasting impacts on an individual’s life.
Cheryl Clarke, LMFT explains that those suffering from low self-esteem tend to believe others are more important than themselves and may try to fit in by hiding who they are in order to avoid being judged.
One factor contributing to low self-esteem can be feeling constantly stressed, which can lead to negative thoughts that are hard to shake. Relaxation techniques such as meditation or exercise may help relieve tension; other ways include listening to music and singing along.
If you are struggling with low self-esteem, seeking assistance from a mental health professional could help identify what’s causing it and find ways to bolster it. A GP or online search could give you access to such professionals who could offer referrals.
4. Be Kind to Yourself
Low self esteem causes people to think negatively of themselves and may act as a form of self-sabotage by hindering them from pursuing goals and having healthy relationships. They may find it hard to overcome obstacles or setbacks which is why it is vitally important that those experiencing low self esteem seek assistance from mental health professionals.
One way to combat negative thoughts is to focus on your positive qualities. One effective method for doing so can be writing down or seeking feedback from others on what they appreciate about you.
An effective way of being kind to yourself is through mindfulness practice. Simply taking a few seconds each day to appreciate what’s around you – beautiful sights, melodious sounds, fresh air odors or sensations such as wind or breeze on your skin can bring us back into the present and help prevent us from dwelling on past hurts or worrying about tomorrow – is all part of living mindfully.